Gnome-Hunting Ban Comes Into Force Activists were celebrating this morning, the first day of the newly introduced ban on hunting with unicorns, with particular reference to the hunting of gnomes. The ban is the culmination of decades long and vocal campaign, during which both sides frequently resorted to dirty tricks and magic. The campaign began 44 years ago, after a ban on hunting leprechauns was introduced, leading to the hunters to turn their attention to gnomes and, less frequently, bogeymen. The League Against Cruelty to Gnomes (LACruG) has always maintained that the practice was cruel and inhumane. These poor gnomes were subjected to unspeakable cruelty,' said Damien McNice of LACruG. 'They were chased for hours through enchanted glens, rolling meadows and eerie forests. Once the hunters caught them, they would make their pixies poke them with needles before the unicorns would spear them with their horn, which, in a further twist of cruelty, leads to the unicorn having their horn sawn off before being sold to the circus.' The Department for Mining, Evening Wear and Fairy Stories (DefMEWFS) explained what effect this law will have. A spokeself went on record as saying: 'We won't be enforcing this law because we have other priorites to deal with. There are too many gnome hunters, and they all live in the country anyway, so don't matter. Anyway, remember their last march? I don't want unicorn shite all over my doorstep again. It just keeps the gnome rights people quiet, convinces everyone else we fulfil our promises and wind up a few posh Trolls without actually doing ANYTHING! Here, I say... You're not recording this, are you?' Jasper Snobb, Head Huntstroll of the Hollowood Hunt said: 'This is blatant Anti-Trollism. The elves that live in their treehouses in the city know nothing about our troll traditions. This is an attack on trolls and the troll way of life. We will carry on gnome hunting and defy anyone to stop us.' Posted on 21st March by El Queso Grande Image courtesy of Victor Nizet