Svensson Retains European Crown Sven 'Sven' Svensson has controversially retained his European Egg and Spoon title after incredible scenes during the final in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. Svensson, whose real name is Sven but is bizarrely known to his friends as 'Sven', snatched victory in the closing strides after his bitter rival, the Spaniard Sancho de Santos Sanchez, dropped his egg when just metres from glory after slipping on dog shit. Dramatically, the Spanish team have lodged an official complaint, suggesting that the Swedish team doctor's wife was secretly recruited to walk her Bichon Frise on the track just minutes before the race. Svensson brushed aside Spanish concerns, claiming he knows nothing of any doggy doodoo. He also attributed his success to a new, ground-breaking innovation. 'This win is a tribute to my coach, Dave. He suggested last year that I switch to a hard-boiled egg to give me greater stability. I was skeptical at first, but changed anyway, at Dave's insistence. As you can see, Dave's revolutionary methods are paying dividends.' When pressed on the Spanish delegation's complaints, Svensson had little to say. 'They can go fuck themselves,' he said. 'Anyway, it was a standard poodle. Do these Spaniards know nothing of dogs? That's the real issue here.' Posted 13th March 2008 by El Queso Grande